SWEATER | JEANS

I recently saw a quote on Pinterest, and I haven’t been able to shake the impact it had on my heart. I’ve talked a lot over the years about my anxiety on here, and I think it’s important to give some context to exactly where I believe my anxiety stems from.

I have one word for you: FEAR. Fear of disappointing, fear of not being good enough, fear of the unknown, fear of death, fear of change, fear of forgetting, fear of losing, fear of fear.

Over the course of my battle with anxiety, I’ve learned to cope in many strategic ways. In particular, I’ve always convinced myself that if it’s perfect, there’s no reason to have fear. I’m the first to admit, I’m an aspiring perfectionist. I don’t necessarily find it a great quality. I’m incredibly meticulous, and I over think everything. I operate this way so I can ensure it’s perfect.

Well I’ve got news for YOU and for ME. I’m working my tail off to say GOODBYE PERFECTIONIST, and hello to embracing my fears, and meeting them head on. If I can be proud of anything, I want it to be that I’m not fearful. I’m not anxious, because I’m not afraid. I’m not perfecting, because I don’t have that ongoing fear of whatever it is in that moment.

Goodbye Perfectionist. See you never!

XO, ALEX